Which is harder, giving or receiving forgiveness?

Since the deaths of my father and Anthony, I wanted to work with Hospice. But I am too old, and too broke, to go back to school to become a nurse. With all this extra time on my hands that the pandemic has granted, I started researching other ways to work in that field. When I stumbled across End of Life Douala, I knew that was what I was looking for. So, you guessed it, I'm now studying to become a Certified End of Life Douala. Much like a Birthing Douala is there to assist when a new life enters this world, an End of Life Douala will do the same when a person leaves. Since I've had the honor of living it twice, and being in God's presence both times, I want to give that wonderful experience to someone else. And I want to be a witness for Christ at that time.

Part of the dying process for those patients who know they are dying, is to have a period of time when you reflect on whether you have done what you should have with your time on earth and if you have lived life to the fullest. A big part of that is seeking forgiveness from others for the wrongs you have committed, and forgiving those wrongs against you. Let's face it. Noone wants to do this, but everyone needs to do this. Going through this lesson was great, until the instructor told us our homework was to list those we needed to ask for forgiveness and those we needed to forgive. She has got to be kidding! Well, maybe I'll just make a quick line down the middle of my paper and list one for each.

Who do I want to forgive? Well, I know who I should forgive, but I don't want to think about that situation, so....who else? Uhm....I've already said I'm moving on from that person. There has to be someone else....

Okay, who can I ask for forgiveness? Well, yeah, but that's water under the bridge, I'm sure that person has forgotten that incident. Besides who wants to relive it, and bring back all that emotional drama. We've moved on....I'll pick someone else....someone that doesn't live around here anymore. Actually don't know where they are. Perfect....but will it count?

Back to the granting forgiveness...the same person...great!

It got me thinking about forgiving my son; from yesterday's post. But my focus shifted from forgiveness to prayers for him. Thanksgiving that he was alive (I hadn't been told otherwise) somewhere, which meant there was still time for him to completely renounce the path to destruction he'd been traveling with Satan. Oh, he enjoys that journey, and alone has no intention of leaving that path. So I prayed he would wake up sober and just be enlightened to one thing he was doing wrong. One thing. Then he could fix one thing at a time. That became my prayer. Until I sat down here, and started searching the "Prodigal Son".

Sarah Walton, in her article Pray Them Home: Three Prayers for Prodigal Children, tells three things parents must pray that really helps. She should know, she was once one of those children. While the first one caught me off-guard coming from her, intellectually I knew it to be true. You just really don't ever picture yourself praying to God, "Lord, please help my child. He needs a heart of brokenness, no matter what it will do to our family." That seems like you are want God to punish his sin with his sin. And you know what, you do. Unless, there are only two choices, he will always choose "C", continue the life in some way, even if its worse than before.

Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will you waver between two options? If the Lord is God, follow him: but is Baal is god, follow him." -I Kings 18:21

Think of it this way. Sin is a big piece of cheese, just sitting in the middle of nowhere, free for the taking. Now, we all know that that piece of cheese is somehow attached to a trap, but you, oh little hungry mouse, aren't so sure. And besides, you are the fastest runner in town. You can zip in, snatch that cheese and zip out before anyone is the wiser. No, little mouse, don't risk it. You are convinced, and after a period of boosting you take off like a flash, grab that cheese, and SNAP! Where that cage come from? That door barely missed your tail? Are you crazy? You are just going to kick back and enjoy, because you got what you came for? Good luck with that.....now that the cheese is gone, what is your plan? yes, you can go back out the door you came in, but there is cat there now that will eat you. Yes, of course, you have another choice. No, we aren't kidding. Turn around. No, looking over your shoulder doesn't count. Turn all the way around, face the opposite direction. Yes, its a maze the leads to Mouseville. You'll find all you're old friends and family along the path. No cats, all the cheese you want, you'll love it. Which door will you choice? Wonderful, we'll meet you there.